The Bedroom
by Andrometamorphose
Summary: In which Ino finds herself in a decidedly uncomfortable situation...shikaino


The Bedroom: A New Year's Surprise 

Inspired by: A movie

A/N: Please tell me if I'm too perverted…XD

Disclaimer: Will New Year's ever be on January 1? Will I ever own Naruto? That's for you to decide.

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Ino walked passed the street lit up by the colorful glow of old Christmas lights. It was so unfashionable, she reasoned, that Konoha wouldn't take down the stupid bright _things_ when Christmas was already over. She sighed, being weighed down by the many clothes-filled shopping bags that were the result of the post Christmas season clearance, an obvious testament that the time of giving and happy smiles had passed, leaving no room for the spontaneous generosity that all the Konoha shinobi had worn on a whim.

Ino quickened her pace as she spied a fluorescent store window ahead of her, with the lighted-up words of 'Mystique –Come in and Find out…'. Ino grinned, a sly smile working its way across her face, and she hurriedly walked into the store and was promptly greeted by a clean-shaven man of around 20 years old. Ino smirked. Life was good.

Five hours and ten more shopping bags later, Ino sat dejectedly in the bus, her head leaning against the window, watching the scenery fly by. She sighed, knowing that she would have the most boring New Year's of all the girls she knew. Sure, Naruto could be clueless sometimes, but he always did manage to do the unpredictable, like giving Hinata some lingerie not from Victoria's Secret, but from Kakashi's secret stash of cosplay worn by the fans of Girls Gone Wild. Ino giggled, remembering that moment.

It was a cold January morning, and everyone was over at Naruto's house, celebrating the new year and opening their presents. First came Sakura, and she opened her gift with glee, managing to tear the wrapping paper to shreds in a record of three seconds. As she slowly opened the box and peeked at what was inside, she screamed out loud, quickly shut the box and hid it somewhere and jumped out and started kissing Sasuke furiously. Sasuke, as expected, took this with the utmost smugness, and wrapped his hand around Sakura's tiny waist as he pushed her up against the wall. Kiba and Naruto both bet that there would be little Uchihas running around by the end of the year and were, as usual, smacked on the heads by Sakura.

_Tenten went next, cuddling next the normally stoic Hyuuga, who was silently smirking to himself as his girlfriend opened the box and revealed not one or two, but **three** big boxes of condoms. Needless to say, one box was used up by the end of the evening after Sasuke, being the gentleman he was, suggested that they get a room._

_Hinata and Ino opened their presents last, hoping that the old saying was true –that the best would be saved for last. In Hinata's case, she struck jackpot, and got the aforementioned lingerie. Amid the fainting and chaos that ensued afterwards, Ino silently opened up her messily wrapped present (which was a very small box, by the way), and got down to an envelope. She slowly opened it, and took out the piece of paper with anticipation, hoping that Shikamaru had gotten something good for her, and unfolded it. There, written in his almost illegible scrawl was an:_

I O U 

_It didn't need to be mentioned that Ino was **very** disappointed that night, with all the action going around her._

"Hey lady! Is this your stop or what?" a rough voice jerked Ino awake from her quiet daydream, and she quickly turned to the owner of the voice, who, as the close proximity between them allowed her to acknowledge, that the guy next to her had eaten a lunch consisting mostly of garlic and oils. She sighed, and got up, lugging the many bags in her hand, and walked slowly to the apartment that she and Shikamaru, along with Chouji who was currently on a solo mission, shared.

As Ino trudged up the unforgiving stairs, she felt an oncoming headache. It wasn't fair, she thought, that some girls just got it all. After all, Shikamaru hadn't even _kissed_ her, and they hadn't even gone out, so who could say that they were both together. He had been spending most of his time with that sand kunoichi Temari, who had been visiting with her brothers, recently, anyways.

Ino stumbled onto her floor in relief, and put down her bags, fishing for her keys, but stopped as she heard some voices coming from her doorway.

"So…do you want to be my girlfriend?" Ino heard Shikamaru ask, his voice muffled by the distance between them.

"Sure! But listen now, you have to practice this some more…I mean, come _on_. Say it more romantically…" Ino recognized the female voice who had responded as being Temari's, and gave up on the hope that Shikamaru was practicing at the mirror on how to ask her out.

"Fine…does your tender, loving heart find its room to make an addition…for me?" Shikamaru said sarcastically.

"That was great!" Temari answered. Ino sighed (she had been doing a lot of sighing lately, she thought), and wondered why Temari didn't understand that Shikamaru was being serious at all.

"Then are we done with this?" Shikamaru asked, bored.

"No! You said you would fix this if I came. Now help me out here! You have to teach me how to do this!" Ino heard Temari say.

Things were getting strangely interesting.

"Fine…first, shift your body over here…I can't see you from here…"

Ino heard Temari move and plop down.

"Okay…now open up…like, really wide, or I won't be able to fit there…."

Ino heard Temari moan and she began tearing open her new (Versace) dress in anger.

"That's good…loosen up, okay? Just relax, or it'll hurt…."

The hem of the dress in Ino's hand was getting frayed.

"Shikamaru! Be more gentle! My right side is wider than my left one so stick your _thing_ there!"

Ino gasped, and the dress immediately ripped into two. Ino fingered the material on one half and began systematically tearing the piece of (ruined) cloth.

"Ahh…that feels better…hey, Shikamaru…you could get a job at doing this!" Temari cried, moaning at the same time.

The piece of cloth in Ino's hands was in shreds.

Shikamaru was heard yawning.

"Nah…to troublesome…"

Ino sniggered despite herself. Leave it to Shikamaru to be to lazy to even get busy once in a while.

"Okay…well, thanks for helping me! Oh, and next time, can you do it a little bit quicker?"

Ino choked –what kind of girl wanted it faster? After all, slow and steady wins the race, she reasoned.

"Fine…whatever you say…"

Ino had had enough, and opened the door, but it had already opened, and she got a glimpse of Temari as she fell face-front onto the other blonde shinobi.

"Mmmfph…get off of me!"

"Well…_sor_-ry…." Ino said, huffing.

"Shikamaru…you owe me big time for helping you out like this," Temari said, and she quickly left and slammed the door behind her. At the same time, Shikamaru sighed.

"What?!" Ino said.

"Ino…calm down…now listen to me…." Shikamaru sighed, "Oh…this is so troublesome."

"Well? What is it?"

"Do you want to be my girlfriend?" The lazy genius yawned in the middle of the sentence.

Ino frowned, "You just asked Temari that! You man-whore!"

Shikamaru laughed, "Ino, she was helping me practice –she's just a friend!"

"But what was the thing about you helping her?" Ino asked, wondering what the _heck_ had they been doing.

"I was helping her put her contacts on…." Shikamaru yawned again and stretched, "God, woman….you are so troublesome….we weren't doing _that _ you know…"

Ino turned red and promptly stalked out of the room as the genius fell asleep –she would give him her answer that night after he awoke from his 'nap'.

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Sometimes it was hard loving a genius –they always seem to know what you're thinking.

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That year, Ino didn't get an ** I O U.** Instead, she got the latest lingerie from Girls Gone Wild the uncensored version.

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That went terribly, but whatever…at least I got it over with…XD…anyways, tell me how it went!


End file.
